How I Handle Unsolicited Phone Calls…”Hello, You’ve Reached the Prayer Line.”

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“Hello, I’m calling with information about your order.” The woman’s voice on the other end of the phone was barely audible. I turned up the volume to better hear her and pressed my ear into the earpiece.

We talked for a few moments and then as I was getting ready to hang up, I hesitated. What if she were one of my children? I asked myself. How would I want this call to end?

“May I pray for you?” I offered. Then having her consent, my prayer went something like this:

“Dear Heavenly Father, I’m praying for this young woman like I would pray for my own daughter. She needs a better job. Would you please direct her to her dream job, and even if the application requirements are beyond what she currently possess, would you give her favor? Would you place her in a job where she can be trained and where she will be valued? Will you please provide her with a healthy environment where she works with people who are kind and ethical? Father I know that You’ve heard this prayer. I know that you love this young woman. So, I thank you in advance. In Jesus’ Name I pray, amen.”

The young woman’s voice was soft and tearful now. I could hear emotion in her words. She thanked me and she thanked me again when we finally hung up.

I admit, I haven’t always been as intentional during phone calls with sales people and with crooks. (About phone calls with crooks…I’ll tell you all about it in a day or two.)

Sometimes, I tire of phone calls from solicitors and scammers. It’s annoying. It’s frustrating that they call my phone. I get one or three of those types of calls most days.

That conversation with the sales lady inspired me. Her openness to what I had to say and her appreciation for the words that I prayed…all of that changed the way that I view calls from sales people today.

Why bother? You might ask. Because the person on the other end of the phone is someone’s son or someone’s daughter. I think about that when I see homeless people and when I read articles in the newspaper about another young person in prison. And I think about that when I get phone calls from strangers, asking for money, or trying to give me something that’s supposedly free.

Not too long ago, I picked up the ringing phone and held the receiver to my ear. “Hello, you have been selected for a free trip of your choice to one of our world class resorts.” These were her opening lines, and for the next three minutes the woman on the other end spoke so fast that my mind could barely keep up with her.

When finally she took a breath, I interrupted her memorized pitch. “Honey,” I said. “Can I ask you a question?”

She was obviously not used to questions in this setting. Momentarily, she hesitated and said, “Oh, okay.”

“Do you need prayer?”

“What?”

“You called my house and this is the number for prayer. Can I pray for you about anything…”

This is how I roll.

Pamela

How to Change the World

Last week, I had a great time sharing something that I’m very passionate about. It’s one of my life messages and I believe it will help to Change the World.

First, I had a little fun with a surprise “guest” and the remarkable story of how I found a dog named Faith. This led into the core message of being world changers through a lifestyle of partnership with the Lord.

I’m not talking about religious traditions or practices. I’m not referring to something that ordinary people can’t do. This is something that all of us can put into practice with exciting results beyond anything you can imagine.

Too many people separate the sacred from what most people consider common. There’s a tendency to compartmentalize Christianity, setting it aside for certain special times and places. This isn’t what Jesus had in mind when He said that He would dwell in us and with us, John 14:23.

I’m confident that the world is changed one person at a time. Through my weekly video broadcasts, I’m doing my part to make the world a lovelier place.

Video details: I’ve included the video recording for you here on this page. You are always welcome to share anything that you find on this website with others.

The remarkable story of how we found our dog is included in the first 10 minutes, followed by the twenty minute teaching, How to Change the World. The last half of the class is devoted to responding to viewer comments.

You are dearly loved,

Pamela Koefoed

 

 

A Desire to Help Others Motivated Author to Write Her Personal Story

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“How was it for you…writing JoyRide?” A reader recently asked.

I stumbled around, trying to put into words the vast array of emotions that I felt during that three year season of writing.

How was it for me…writing JoyRide? Sometimes sadness overwhelmed me, especially as I wrote about my baby brother, and as I considered that my beautiful mother lived most of her life with something stronger than regret. These realities have always saddened me.

But I was surprised and grateful that, while writing the dramatic scenes of escape and related elements, my heart wasn’t re-traumatized, and I was delighted to find that where pain used to be, peace now reigned.

How was it to write JoyRide? The answer is as many sided as a prism. It was difficult to write the scenes involving the grave mistakes of those whom I had anchored my world to.

It was very difficult. At times, I talked with my husband about my feelings. Was I betraying my mother? Did I dishonor her or any of my family? I knew that he would be truthful with me. What I found in my husband was reassurance and encouragement to keep writing.

I felt passionately that my story would inspire others to forgive, to love, and to have hope for their own situations. I knew that my mother would want this to be the outcome of our years of heartache. I believed, and still do, that beautiful things can come out of ashes and loss.

How was it for me while I wrote JoyRide? It was a beautiful thing.

Pamela Koefoed, Author

Joyride: Life, Death and Forgiveness is my personal story. I wrote it from a child’s perspective. It depicts the bonds between a little girl, her mother and sister, and how that bond enabled her to remain hopeful, resilient, and to overcome her mother’s haphazard parenting and dangerous behaviors.

JoyRide points the way to succeeding in life, even when we’re dealt a half missing deck of cards, and it demonstrates that circumstances do not define who we are or what we can achieve.

Please request JoyRide at your local bookstore, or write to us for a list of independent bookstores carrying my book. Thank you!

Defeating Fear to Help Others

My Journey of Defeating Fear to Help Others by Memoir Author Pamela Koefoed

Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler with Pamela Koefoed/@JoyRideBook

 

Photo Credit--Free Google Images

Photo Credit–Free Google Images

Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway
- John Wayne
So often when we write a memoir, the story develops a life of its own and becomes a part of a larger cause. This is certainly the case for Pamela Koefoed who began advocating for abused children and teaching audiences how to overcome a painful past after publishing her memoir. It is my pleasure to introduce you to Pamela whose memoir Joyride: Life, Death and Forgiveness is a riveting story of hope and overcoming child abuse. Pamela will discuss how writing her memoir helped her to defeat fear and find her mission of helping child abuse survivors. My reviews can be found on Amazon, Goodreads, Shelfari and LibraryThings.

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Book Synopsis:
Pamela Koefoed tells the story from the child’s point of view, recalling in vivid detail the events leading up to four house fires, her narrow escape from them, and the conviction of the arsonist. She depicts the heart touching tale of being left alone for weeks with her eleven year old sister and baby brother, and describes how they managed to deter notice from Child Welfare. Pamela and her sister surprise us all by their spunkiness, indomitable joy, and resiliency. Due to their circumstances, they draw on the love they have for each other and rise above the unthinkable to show us all the way to a richer and more meaningful life. If you enjoyed The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls, you’ll loveJoyRide: Life, Death and Forgiveness (from Amazon author page).

Welcome, Pamela!

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Memoir Author and Advocate Pamela Koefoed

My Journey of Defeating Fear to Help Others

As a child and into young adulthood, I lived in a place of powerlessness known as “the conspiracy of silence” where painful, unexplainable experiences were never mentioned and where we went on with daily life as if we were a mini version of the idyllic family of the popular sitcom that ran in the late sixties and seventies, the Brady Bunch.

But there was a problem with this way of being—it wasn’t true. My mother wasn’t the Carol Brady, doting sort of parent. In her childrearing, there was little room for mothering and her general philosophy was more in line with the idea that life is a party, so pass another beer. A lifestyle like my mother’s doesn’t allow space for children. Consequently, my childhood was similar in many ways to the thousands of children who are neglected by parents or guardians each year in the United States.

In addition to being a victim to neglect, when I was eight-years-old my mother was arrested and charged as a felon for committing crimes, which put our entire household in grave danger. On four occasions, I fled for my life, twice barely escaping death. To top off all of this craziness, after my mother’s release from a California correctional facility, my nine-year-old sister and I were returned to her care.

Sixteen years ago, the conspiracy of silence that had held me powerless lost its grip and I began sharing snippets of my testimony publicly.

The first time I stood in front of a group to speak about my past is especially memorable. I stood nervously near a podium before a small congregation of fifty to sixty parishioners at the non-denominational church my husband and I attend. Adrenaline rushed through my system, causing my head to feel detached from my body and constricting my vocal chords. I opened my mouth to speak—my voice trembled and my speech was nothing more than thin, wispy breathes. I thought I would throw up, but somehow I managed to be heard and, obviously, I lived through the ordeal.

When we’re afraid and follow our convictions anyway, we’re victorious.

After my initiation into public speaking, there were many more opportunities to speak to groups; for years, I did so with my very being engulfed in anxiety. Eventually, those negative feelings vanished, but it took great perseverance, some faith, hard work and encouragement from family and friends.

In 2009, the executive director of my county’s CASA program, Court Appointed Special Advocates, asked me to run the program, giving me the opportunity to make a difference in the lives of children who have experiences similar in many ways to my own childhood. Initially, the uncertainties and the what if’s hounded me. The stories of maltreated children would confront me. Might I have nightmares? What if I broke into tears in the courtroom while presenting these children’s needs and wishes? How healed am I, really? Am I even qualified?

The greatest enemy, as someone once said, isn’t fear. From time-to-time, everyone feels afraid. It’s coming into agreement with fear and believing the nagging doubts instead of embracing the truth—you can do all things through Christ who gives you strength.

I accepted the position as the director for my county’s CASA program and embraced a new season. Stepping into this role proved to me that the very things I had feared were nothing more than shadows and that advocating for children is an ideal fit. Right next to death, on the list of things we humans are afraid of, comes public speaking, and I think next to this comes writing a survival memoir, which I’m grateful to have completed last year, and next to this would be hearing the stories of children who have had hellish childhoods. All of this sends shivers up our spines, causes labored breathing, our hands to sweat, our stomachs to churn—yikes!

When you’re faced with an opportunity to do good and help others, whether it’s through volunteer work, writing a memoir, or taking a new job, and if fear is hounding you, let me leave you with a little advice from our friend John Wayne, saddle up anyway. The world will be a better place because you cared.

***
Thank you Pamela for sharing your inspirational story of surviving childhood abuse and overcoming fear. You remind us of the power of memoir writing to heal and help us connect with a higher mission. I can’t help but feel your noble work of advocating for children who have been abused is a perfect fit for you!

Author Bio and Contact Information: Pamela Koefoed, originally from Sacramento, California is a child abuse survivor and a daughter of an ex-felon. In addition to writing numerous articles for websites and blogs, she has authored two books. Her latest book is JoyRide: Life, Death and Forgiveness, a Memoir. When not writing, Pamela directs a child advocacy agency program and is a frequent guest speaker on radio shows and at events around the nation. Pamela and her husband have been married for 25 years. They enjoy golden sunsets and coyote serenades from the back deck of their rural home in southern Oregon.

Website: http://pamelakeofoed.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Pamela.Koefoed.Author
Twitter: https://twitter.com/JoyRideBook
JoyRide: Life, Death and Forgiveness is available from the website, http://joyridebook.com, from Amazon, and by requesting it in bookstores.

How about you? Has writing your memoir led you to a higher mission? or helped you to overcome a fear?

Pamela has graciously offered to give away one copy of JoyRide: Life, Death and Forgiveness to a commenter whose name will be selected in a random drawing. To enter the drawing, go to Kathleen’s website by clicking this link http://bit.ly/1jlFxwJ

We’d love to hear from you. Please leave your comments below~

Announcement: Congratulations, Tracy Lee Karner! Your name was selected in a random drawing of commenters to receive Nina Amir’s book, The Author Training Manual.

Next week: ”What Goes Into a Successful Pubslush Crowdfunding Campaign?”

Day #28 and 97% funded! My Pubslush Crowdfunding Campaign for my memoir, Ever Faithful to His Lead: My Journey Away From Emotional Abuse ends at midnight on June 11, in 2 more days
Thanks to your generous contributions I am within reach of a successful campaign!
In making a contribution you will help me spread the messages of hope, resilience and courage to those seeking freedom from abuse.
Here’s the link to the campaign:
http://pubslush.com/books/id/2076.
I’d love it if you would share this link with others.

Thank you for joining me in sharing the hope!

Originally published at, http://www.krpooler.com/2014/06/09/beyond-the-memoir-my-journey-of-defeating-fear-to-help-others-by-memoir-author-pamela-koefoed/ by Kathleen Pooler

Catastrophic Parenting: Daddy Shopping & Auntie Mame’s House

ImagePamela Koefoed’s irresponsible mother Joy Curran had her own ideas about parenting. Children should be allowed to go to bars with their parents, they can be left alone at home for weeks, they should be spoken to as adults, and they should always have good manners.

Joy was a charismatic, free-spirited, single parent whose unconventional parenting created drama and chaos. She pursued two dreams, finding Pamela and Robin a new daddy and having an “Auntie Mame house”—a reference to a 1955 New York Time’s best selling novel about an orphaned boy and his eccentric Aunt Mame and her house of fun.

Later when Joy remarries, someone makes several attempts to destroy the home she and her new husband Max have made for Pamela and Robin, and they flee for their lives. When they divorce, Joy’s escalating drinking and neglect causes Pamela and her sister to depend on each other for emotional support. To survive, the girls are forced to find food and keep to themselves the family secrets.

Pamela tells her story without bitterness and depicts a perspective of her mother as seen through the innocent eyes of childhood. What surprises us all about Pamela and Robin is their spunkiness and resiliency. They draw on the love they have for each other and rise above the flaws in their circumstances to show us all the way to a richer and more meaningful life.

Filled with intrigue and deeply moving, Pamela’s memoir reveals the undying bond that a child has for her mother, the loyalty between sisters, and a love which defies understanding. JoyRide is action packed, rich in detail, and full of hope.

 Readers who enjoyed The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls will love JoyRide: Life, Death and Forgiveness.

I feel I have witnessed the victorious power of love, and the overcoming resilience of the human spirit. This story of triumph over unimaginable difficulty is made all the more poignant by the awareness that it is true.

—Lewis Crownover, musician and founder, Sound of the Harvest

You will not want to put this book down until you have finished it. You will come away with the knowledge that you are never alone no matter how big the trial is that you are going through. An exciting read.

—RitaAnne Poorman, minister and author of Prayers from the Proverbs

 JoyRide, Life, Death and Forgiveness is 317 pages and includes bonus material at the end of the book, an interview with the author and discussion questions. Purchase at www.joyridebook.com

On Focus Today, I speak about my harrowing childhood.

My story has always been mine, so it astonishes me when those who hear me tell it have an over-the-top shocked, amazed, or dumb-founded reaction. It’s typical for people to stare with tear filled eyes and ask, “Are you real?” Followed by, “How come you’re doing so well?”

This video is from Focus Today with Perry Atkinson, Dove T.V. Watch for his reaction to what he hears. It’s priceless.