How I Overcame being Disappointed

ButterflyYellowThere’s just no time or need to stay disappointed. This is what I’m telling myself as I navigate through news that has me feeling emotionally fragile.

Today, someone dear to me broke a promise, which means that I’m back to square one, asking the Lord to fill the cavernous space that appeared overnight when my ministry partner and best friend moved to another state, leaving a hole in my heart, chunk out of my life, and empty space beside me.

I’m sad. I just am. But I’ve decided that I won’t stay sad. This is not the end of the world, I tell myself.

Sometimes, we need to change attitudes, get tough with ourselves, talk to ourselves. Who’s your Lord? I ask myself. That always gets me in a better place–fast. Or I ask my sad self, Where have your eyes been? On man or on God? That’s also an effective perspective switcher for me. Works every time.

Most of the negative emotions that we harbor are a waste of time, of focus, and can distract us from our purpose. Sure, a devastating loss will send us on a ride that we had hoped to never take. Riding grief waves is something we all hope to avoid.

There’s just nothing that can be said to make grief go away. I wish there were words to eliminate that kind of pain. When you’re grieving, it’s tough! Disappointment is normal in such instances. For those of you who are traveling on the ocean of loss, the Lord will bring you through. He really will.

Aside from the passing of someone, the end of a love relationship, or the total loss of a dream, most of the things that disappoint us are not as devastating as our emotional responses say that they are.

What do I mean? A broken promise like I had today could send people into days of sadness. It’s a real bummer. I mean, I’m back to square one regarding something of tremendous importance to me personally and to the ministry. But it’s not equal to crying all day, or to being sad for longer than an hour or three. It’s not equal to going into a depression, or to becoming indifferent, or to throwing a fit.

Many people overreact to disappointing situations. They’ll be in self pity for days, infecting everyone around them. Some just go numb. Or they become cynical, roll their eyes, and say things like, “What did I expect?!” Or “This is how things always turn out.” Or, “It’s always something.”

When you’re disappointed, are you going to react or will you respond?

Your emotional reaction can be one like I mentioned earlier or you can be in dominion over yourself and respond with wisdom. What you do in the first few minutes of being disappointed matters, because negative emotions can drain the life out of a dream, can consume your focus, can detour your path.

How I worked through today’s disappointing news is that I chose to remember my Lord, His purpose for my life, and His ability to bring something amazing out of what feels like a loss.

Acknowledging God’s power, the magnitude of His greatness, and the limitlessness of His ability positions us to receive or accomplish something far greater than we have ever dreamed.

Listen up. If you’re going through or have been through something that has left you feeling disappointed, I encourage you to take to heart a powerful truth from Scripture.

“Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen–” (Ephesians 3:20-21).

When your trust is in the Lord, disappointments become launching pads for something better than you have imagined. Beloved, if someone has disappointed you, let you down, failed to follow through, broke a promise, changed their mind and is no longer working with you, or has ended a relationship–God is able! He is able! He is able! He is able!

Jesus turned water into wine. The Lord parted the Red Sea so that a huge multitude could cross to the other side. He provided a widow and her son with enough oil and flour to feed them during a devastating famine. He works miracles and brings forth something out of nothing.

Therefore, He can certainly do something out of your nothing, multiply your little, and provide a way for you to arrive at the center of His purpose for your life.

Take heart, receive encouragement and keep walking with the Lord, because He is working something beautiful in your life.

Talk to yourself! It works.

You are dearly loved,

Pamela Koefoed

How to Live without the Fear of Disappointment

dscn19701.jpgDisappointments can turn a great day into a woes me day. They can transform a celebration into a wake, as we mourn a loss and disappointments can really mess up our plans.

Take a meaningful relationship, for example. I’ll always remember the day, the very hour, the very moment when one of my dearest friends cut off all of her friends from her life.

We were sisters in Christ. We had traveled in ministry together. We encouraged each other to a closer walk with God. We prayed for one another’s children. I could share my heart with her and she’d pray. She could tell me anything, because she knew that I would pray. We had planned a future in ministry together.

When she shut everyone out of her life, I assumed she didn’t mean me. What a shock to learn that everyone even meant me. I lived for a while in unbelief but, as the days passed, reality hit my heart and I wept as though my friend had died. This is why I say that disappointment can change a celebration into a wake.

How to Live without the Fear of Disappointment with Pamela Koefoed

On today’s video, you can learn how to move from disappointment into the joy that the Lord has set before you, and you will obtain keys for a hope-filled life.

Those of you who have been hurt by disappointments in relationships, you can either build a wall of protection around your heart or you can leverage the disappointment to move forward.

Those of you who’ve been frustrated by disappointing work or ministry experiences, you can either live without anticipating a fulfilling work or ministry experience or you can leverage the disappointments to propel you forward.

Those of you who’ve had more than your share of disappointments, you can play it safe by keeping your distance from what potentially could end up in another disappointment… if you choose.

But are you really safe?

I mean, think about it, if you’re staying in your “comfort zone” because of something you fear then you’re most likely not fulfilling your God created purpose, which means you’re not experiencing the abundant joy of a deeply satisfying life.

On today’s video, you can learn how to move from disappointment into the joy that the Lord has set before you, and you will obtain keys for a hope-filled life.

God wants your soul to be anchored in hope. Restore hope. Restore trust. Live the life that God designed for you. Live in abundant joy.

You are dearly loved,

Pamela Koefoed

 

 

A Letter to Those Who are Alone on Valentine’s Day

imac 27 wallpaper-190Dear Friend,

If you’re alone on Valentine’s Day then this letter is for you.

I’m here to give you something more than a pep talk, because I don’t think an inspirational message will fill the empty seat beside you. I don’t have quotes from studies to prove to you that you aren’t the only person on the planet without a wedding ring. And I’m not writing to “encourage” you with a reminder that there are countless numbers of single people in the world. After all, if you’ve been single for very long, it can seem like all of the decent single people have vanished.

I will not suggest that you think about those less fortunate than yourself…You are not getting guilted into accepting your singleness. At least, not by me.

I’ve thought of you all week and this is what I want you to know. Okay, so, it’s technically impossible to know each of you by name. But in the more general sense, you have been on mind. I’ve been concerned about how you’re doing today.

Today is Valentine’s Day, the day of love, and for some of you its been a tough one. I’m not going to remind you to shift your thinking from what’s missing in your life to what you do have. Changing your thoughts, by the way, to something more positive can help, but I have another suggestion, a better suggestion…and it might be something you’ve never considered.

It’s the practice of being more aware of the Lord in your life, because He can do what kind and encouraging words are incapable of doing. He’s your Savior and Lord, and He can also be your friend.

And, so….

  • If a room in your home feels empty, invite the Lord to to fill it with His Presence.
  • When need is greater than supply, invite the Lord to provide for you as a devoted spouse provides for the dearly loved.
  • On those days when you long for companionship, invite the Lord to be beside you.
  • When it’s difficult to make a decision alone, invite the Lord to be your wisdom.
  • On this Valentine’s Day, invite the Lord to make His love known to you.

And remember, you are greatly loved: John 3:16 & 1 John 3:1

Happy Valentine’s Day,

Pamela Koefoed