You are More Than All That — The Size of Your Body Doesn’t Define the Size of Your Worth

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My daughter is wiser than her years. One day she asked me, “What defines beauty and who gets to decide who’s beautiful and who’s not?”

Since that day when Sierra demonstrated such amazing insight and compassion, I’ve viewed physical beauty in a new light. Recently, I saw an article featuring a woman who was highlighted for being especially beautiful. She was in her twenties, somewhere around 5 feet 8 inches tall, and 100-105 pounds. Makeup was plastered on her face, and her eyes were half open in a seductive pose. Is this Beauty?

Thumb through popular magazines for women, and the adds that you’ll see will frequently feature women dressed to the nines, tall and slender. Not a hair out of place. Everything about them looks perfect. We would like to look like her. And that’s the idea. But is this Beauty?

I don’t know how it is for guys, but we gals over-stress the size of everything between our heads and our toes. From Western culture, we’ve gotten the idea that our weight and dimensions are ultra important and that they effect our value. The problem is, ask even the skinny girls, very few of us are confident with our physical appearance. In other words, who among us feels pretty?  If you do, consider yourself quite special. Really.

The struggle for image is real. I don’t get gold stars for this either. Looking in the mirror, I see who I think I am. I wish I could consider myself quite special. But I miss the mark with self confidence. Not that I struggle big time with this, but there have been days when I avoided stepping a foot outside my house lest a neighbor drive by and see me looking like I felt. Thankfully, because I’m better today at being mindful of identity and value, I haven’t had an ugly day in a long time.

I’m more concerned in you being healthy than in you looking like a run way model. I think that my views represent a whole lot of women who feel the same way. I’ve been watching for a shift in the beauty industry for the last twenty years.

Health is wealth! Of course, I mean health in spirit, health in mind, and health in body. That’s true beauty and that’s true wealth.

While we’re waiting for media trends to catch up with the rest of us who are more interested in being healthy than in plastering our faces with gooey makeup and face lifts, let’s shift our attitudes about beauty and be more focused on getting healthy, and reflecting this value to younger women and girls.

You are His beloved child. That says a lot right there. He chose you. So, that settles it.  Your worth is priceless. This is just the way it is. You have immeasurable value. In this truth is beauty. You are beautiful.

Even when you’re dressed to the nines and every hair is in its place, if you’re not centered in what God says about you then you might feel like an ugly duckling when your real identity is that of a stunning and beautiful swan. 

The ugly duckling illustrates what I’m saying here so well. Nothing about the little darling was rejection-worthy. If you’re familiar with the story, then you know that the “duckling” was actually a baby swan, but he didn’t know it. His poor self-image messed with him, causing him to devalue himself and to be depressed.

Back to my daughter’s question—What defines beauty and who gets to decide who’s beautiful and who’s not?

The young model in the beauty write up was pretty, but she looked frail. The women in the popular magazine were gorgeous. Their dresses and outfits, makeup and hair radiated glamour and wealth.

Who among us has a personal makeup artist, hair designer, clothing engineer to cater to us everyday of the week? Looking like those knock out gorgeous women isn’t real. The images that we see in the media and advertising are produced. Are you produced? Are you an image to the world made up to look like someone you really aren’t? Of course not.   And neither am I.

I’m far more concerned about you as a person than I am about your body shape, hair style and clothing. I don’t care if you’re wearing expensive designer jeans–I mean, really, aren’t there far more important issues in the world than the label on our pants? I’m concerned with how you are. Are you healthy?

Let our focus be on promoting health not counterfeit beauty. Your health is wealth. Health of spirit. Health of mind. And health of body. 

For all of my sisters, the women I’ve met and those who I’ve never met, I want you to know that being skinny doesn’t add up to being gorgeous. Beauty and skinny are not the same. The size of your body doesn’t determine the size of your worth. You are more precious than anything in this world. No matter what you feel about how you look, sister you are more than all that!

Copyright @Pamela Koefoed, 2019

Do You have the Right Tools for Success? Your Dream is within Your Reach. A Biblical Approach that Works!

Screen Shot 2018-12-20 at 2.39.29 PM.pngI’m wanting you to have the best year ever! I believe God has an amazing plan in His heart for your life! Many times the happiness we seek is linked to walking in our individual purpose.

When happiness eludes you, often what’s needed has nothing to do with your social status, income, or the actions of others. When it seems like real and lasting happiness is unobtainable or when, month after month, your circumstances are unchanged, there is something you can do that will make the difference for you.

Watch this week’s video teaching. Do you have the right tools for the right job? You Can’t Expect Change in 2019 with 2018 Thinking

On my weekly video broadcasts, I talk with friends from around the world on topics important to all of us. Today, I shared what I’ve discovered about breaking free of situational hindrances and breaking into a dream that has been in my heart.

Here’s the video link (just click on it) that’ll take you to this week’s video message.

I’m excited to share what I’ve learned with you, because I want you to have the most satisfying year of your life.

You can be successful. You can have peace in your life, and joy. You can find the love that you’ve desired. It’s within your reach. Learn the Bible way to achievement and lasting joy.

Thousands have used the tools that I share in my weekly teachings and have overcome obstacles and moved forward into success. Success in relationships. Success in finances. Success in business. Success in their walk with God. Success is their overall well being. Success is possible for you.

Sometimes all that’s needed is a friend to help you identify the hindrance and remove it. That’s what I’m offering you today. Instruction from a friend who learned it from God’s Word and from some amazing women and men who’ve achieved incredible things for the Lord.

I’ve walked it out. This revelation changed my life, because it positioned me to receive help from the Lord. I’ve not accomplished anything that you can’t also accomplish. And whatever I’ve  gained, I give the Lord all the thanks, for He takes our few little fish and our little loaf of bread and He multiplies it.

God has a purpose for you and a beautiful plan for your success.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future,” Jeremiah 29:11.

God bless you,

Pamela Koefoed

To watch the weekly video broadcasts, follow me on Facebook.

Also, let’s connect over Instagram. That’s where I share things that viewers don’t see, such as video broadcasting in my blue socks. Blue socks rock!

Wishing you the best life ever!

How to Change Your Life

If I could tell you how to change your life and you actually put into practice my instructions and they actually worked, you would probably think that I’m a genius. But I can’t take any credit for the life changing instructions in this article because they’re found in the New Testament.

God is the supreme genius and I’m merely the sharer of His principles. It’s my hope that you will put them to good use and it’s my prayer that your life will be wonderfully transformed.

Transformation begins with our minds and our hearts. To live the amazing life that our Heavenly Father has for us, habits of thinking and patterns of belief must be brought under the headlamp of God’s Word.

To fulfill our God designed purpose, fear based thinking must be replaced with a way of thinking that encourages our own hearts and motivates our own minds. Too often, the inward self critic and the mind’s anti-risk mode uses fear to dissuade us away from the steps that lead us into what we’re here on this planet for.

To be more like Christ, our own ideas about who we are and what we’re capable of achieving must line up with who God says that we are and with what He says about the victory that He provided for us through His Son.

If it’s difficult for you to approach life optimistically or if you experience frequent fear or condemning thoughts, you’re not the only one. These things seems to be typical human responses to living in a less than perfect world.

In Romans 12:2, we’re told to be transformed by renewing our minds. This passage  refers to building into your mind the truths and principles found in New Testament teaching; doing so transforms you.

Do you know that when you change the way you think, you actually begin changing your life? This is because we walk out what we believe. We think and then we do. We think, we speak what’s in our hearts, and sometimes we find that what we speak comes into being.

For several reasons, it’s important for us to believe, think and speak in line with what God has revealed in New Testament teaching about who He is, what Jesus has accomplished, who we are, what He’s given us, what He provides, and what awaits us in the future. This isn’t always easy to do, but it’s much more achievable for the person who has renewed his or her mind with God’s Word.

Instructions for changing your life, one thought at a time.

I’ve included in this article a tool that I believe is a great tool for personal transformation, especially for anyone who needs a little help with any one or more of the following issues: overcoming fear, anxiety, worry, dread, or feeling unworthy of God’s love, or feeling ashamed, insignificant, or rejected.

The daily pledge list and decrees included in this article can have truly amazing results. To get the full benefits requires a little effort, but it isn’t difficult.

There are eight daily pledges and ten decrees. You might want to copy the pledge and decree list and post it in a place where you’re likely to see it during the day.

For best results, read the eight daily pledges and speak aloud the 10 decrees one or more times daily for 30 days. Doing so will produce amazing results. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself happier and more optimistic, accomplishing better results, walking more in tune with your purpose and in closer fellowship with the Lord.

Daily Pledge

Focusing on negative circumstances doesn’t help. Worrying about the past or the future is harmful for your God-created purpose and for your health. Renew your mind to have a more hopeful and optimistic perspective on life.

If there’s something weighing on your heart today, tell the Lord what it is and ask for His help in the situation. Thank Him for the answer before you receive it.

Read the following eight bulleted items one or more times a day.

  • Today I won’t allow worry to fill my thoughts. I cast all my care on the Lord, for He cares for me, 1 Peter 5:7.
  • Today I will expect good things to happen. After all, God is causing all things to work together for my good, because I love Him, Romans 8:28-29.
  • Today I won’t expect failure. I will look to the Lord for success by committing my plans to Him, Philippians 4:13.
  • Today I won’t allow a self critical thought to take up space in my mind. After all, I’m  told in 1 John 3:1 to think about how great God’s love is for me.
  • Today I won’t worry about getting sick. I take for myself the New Covenant blessing of redemption from sin and disease through the blood of Jesus Christ.
  • Today I won’t scrutinize how my voice sounds. I won’t negatively assess my physical features. I won’t worry what others think about me. I’m the dearly beloved of the Father and He created me in His likeness and image. I’m a blessing to others, 1 John 4:7; Genesis 1:27-28
  • Today I expect favor on my life. I am chosen. I’m not rejected, Isaiah 41:9
  • Today I will show love and receive love, 1 John 4:7-10

Speak aloud the following ten statements one or more times a day for 30 days. Decree a thing and it shall be established, Job 22:28.

  • I can accomplish things that seem hard for me through Christ Jesus, Romans 8:17
  • I am strong in the Lord and in the power of His might, Ephesians 3:16
  • I am loved by God. He is my Father. I am a child of God. John 3:16, 1 John 3:1
  • I am favored by God, Galatians 4:7
  • I am the righteousness of God through Christ Jesus, 2 Corinthians 5:21
  • I am victorious through Christ Jesus, 2 Corinthians 2:14
  • I do not worry. I am not anxious. God’s meeting my every need and His peace is in my heart and mind, Matthew 6:25-31; Philippians 4:6
  • I walk in love because I am loved, Ephesians 5:1-2; 1 John 4:7-10
  • I am a blessing to others, Galatians 5:13
  • I am safe because God protects me, Psalm 121:7; 2 Timothy 4:18

 

 

 

 

 

How to be Happier

How to be truly and  chronically happy…

  • Love God. Love your family and “your neighbor.”
  • Be kind to yourself. You will make mistakes. We all do. Give yourself some grace, because this is what God does.
  • Do your part to stay true to God and to who He created you to be.
  • Stop and smell the roses. Get out in the fresh air. Breath deeply. Go for a walk or a ride.
  • Limit your sugar and unhealthy fats.
  • Eat your veggies. Drink water. And move, move, move your body enough to rev up your circulation..how often? Several times throughout the day.
  • Laugh. Even if nothing’s funny. Regardless of the humor element, your brain will think you’re laughing and will release health producing chemicals into your bloodstream.
  • Read the New Testament slow enough to think about it. Pray. When you sin, confess your sins to God (and, if needed, to a trusted friend).
  • Don’t hold grudges. Forgive. This includes yourself.
  • Be a friend. Spend time with an old friend or make a new friend.
  • Learn something new. With the internet, there are hundreds of classes available for you to take in your home. Classes can also be found at local churches, the YMCA, colleges, and community centers.
  • Get 6 to 8 hours of sleep a night.
  • Don’t spend all of your time working. Include fun in your life…clean and healthy fun.
  • Give to others. Give in order to help someone or to help a worthwhile organization with their mission of helping others. If you don’t have money to give, re-gift something that you don’t use, or donate your time.
  • Show others the same grace and kindness that you want God to give to you. And Show this same grace and kindness to yourself.

God has given you life…go and live it!

Pamela Koefoed

Her Eyes Bugged Out, She Smelled like Vicks, She Hated Left Handed Kids

Mrs. Browley, my kindergarten teacher reprimanded me lots of times every day. My speech impediment had me mispronouncing many words and she repeatedly corrected me. I faced other challenges, too. I couldn’t tie my shoes, tell time, write numbers or letters—not even those in my name.

Mother hadn’t prepared me for kindergarten. She didn’t see the value for children’s books and had never read to Robin or me. In fact, there weren’t any books for kids in our house. Mother didn’t show us how to do anything academic. She didn’t teach us the spelling of our names, or how to hold a pencil, or how to recite the alphabet, or how to count.

Sometime during the first week at Thomas Edison, just after the morning bell rang, I picked up the fat, black pencil and obeyed Mrs. Browley’s name writing instructions.

“That’s not the correct hand,” she said from across the room.

She could’ve been speaking to any one of the twenty-eight kids in my class. I knew how many kids there were because Mother had said that in my class of twenty-eight, another boy and I were the only students who wrote with our left hands. Mother thought left handedness was a sign of intelligence. She said Einstein was a genius and he was left handed, but perhaps Mrs. Browley didn’t see it that way.

“Pam!” Mrs. Browley snapped. She hurried across the room with a ruler pointed in my direction, ignoring the curious and startled stares of her class of students, and she leaned over me, smelling of Vicks VaporRub, with black-framed glasses balancing on her nose, and her eyes looking ten times larger than they really were. “Hold your pencil with your right hand.”

I dropped my pencil like it had stung me and grabbed it with my other hand.

“That’s more like it. Now, keep it there,” she said sternly.

All throughout winter, bug-eyed Mrs. Browley tried reforming me into a right handed person without success. Shortly before recess one afternoon, she confronted me with a ruler held high in the air, and she slapped the knuckles of the hand in which I grasped the fat pencil. “You will not”—Her jaw trembled and her pale complexion turned a deep red—“write with your left hand!”

No one had ever struck me, not even Mother, and I dropped the pencil, swallowed hard to stop the tears forming in my eyes, and stared down at the worksheet on my desk. I knew I was bad. “I don’t know what hand to use. Which one’s right?”

“What did you say?”

My lips trembled and my voice had little strength. “Which one’s right?”

“Right, not white. Pam, pick up your pencil with your right hand.”

By natural inclination, I picked it up with my left.

“Not that one!”

I switched hands and clutched the fat pencil clumsily.

“Left handedness is a sign of retardation. Just look at your letters.” She continued her scolding in a voice loud enough for everyone in the room to hear. “Pam, your letters are backwards.” Her ruler pointed to the place at the top of the page. “Just look at this P in your name.”

A lump formed in my throat and I kept my eyes on the worksheet in front of me.

Her voice softened. “Are you watching?”

I nodded.

“You write P like this.” Holding my right hand clutched around the fat pencil, she directed my hand and wrote P in the correct direction. “As it stands, your name is backwards. You read from left to right and you write from left to right,” she said, still guiding my hand. “Your name’s not Map,” she said, shaking her head in disgust. “Do you want to be called Map? Map is not a name. It’s a thing.”

I wanted to tell her she was wrong, tell her what Mother had said about Einstein, but that meant I’d have to speak again and she wouldn’t understand, and who wanted to speak when they had to repeat themselves? So I just shook my head.

Excerpt from Pamela Koefoed’s new memoir, JoyRide: Life, Death and Forgiveness.

More about the book: http://joyridebook.com

© Copyright 2014 Pamela Koefoed

A Reason to Live

What do dangerous chlorine gas, an exploding house, and a knife attack mean to you? Hopefully nothing. But for me, these were each experiences that I had growing up with my alcohol-addicted mother. Living with her was like trying to survive in a river of crocodiles. My life was often in danger and it’s a wonder that I wasn’t eaten alive.

I survived, obviously, but there’s something else–I overcame. I’m here to give hope and help to the hurting through my creative writing style which is much like story telling. Because I suffered and loved much, I am able to provide a fresh perspective on some of the most perplexing social issues facing our world.

Interaction with readers encourages me to keep writing these vignettes. I would love to hear from you. If you would like to respond in writing to something you’ve read, here are some things to consider: How did the article impact you? Have you had a similar experience? Do you have something positive to contribute to the discussion?

You are dearly loved,

Pamela Koefoed

write@pamelakoefoed.com

http://www.pamelakoefoed.com  http://www.joyridebook.com

Pamela Koefoed.